Four years. This is a blogiversary that feels like a milestone, not because of the number, but because this was one hell of a tough year. Shortly after the blog turned three, I made the decision to end my marriage, and spent the next six months getting legally, financially and emotionally prepared. That effort sucked up a tremendous amount of my energy and brain capacity, so I was pretty quiet for a while. But I’m settled in a new place now, with pets and kiddos and my sex toy hoard.
Amidst the chaos, I did manage to find fun and adventure. I took advantage of a business trip to visit Tulip Toy Gallery in Chicago, and made my anuual pilgrimage to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit to reunite with the Blog Squad and Friends. I attended my first spanking party and had some amazing new rope bondage/BDSM play experiences too. And I’m starting to re-learn the fine art of flirting. Though it tends to end with me abandoning all subtlety and blurting out a proposition, that seems to be working out OK.
Review-wise, the most memorable toy of the year was the awesomely awful Teddy Love. Every time I get pulled aside in the airport security line, or find an inspection notice in my checked bag, I wonder if flying with that damn bear landed me on some obscure TSA watch list.
I also wrote about a few topics that near and dear to my heart. My sexting guide includes some ninja tips for keeping pics safe on your phone. If you’ve ever been curious about double penetration play, you can read about my experience and recommendations here. Sharing my penchant for using textured silcone for clit stim (or “squishing off“) taught me that I’m not alone in enjoying this sensation…and hopefully got a few new folks interested as well.
Blogiversary Collection Photos
According to tradition, shortly after the groundhog has made his annual shadow-based weather prognostication, the elusive ninja blogger gathers her many sex toys to show them off to the world. This used to be done in the Dildo Tub, but collection size and moving to a new home preclude that now. For this year’s festivities, I removed most of the furniture from my dining room to ensure adequate space.
Yeah. That’s a lot of dildos. Three hundred and twenty-three to be precise. 1 And you probably want to take a closer look at that picture, so you can spot fun oddities like these:
I also took a few random dildo category shots, like these orange dildos. I think orange is a sadly under-represented color for sex toys…look how lovely these are!
I call this one “A Horse Is a Horse, Of Course”.
This bunch is here to show that phallic shapes can look amazing in fun, completely unrealistic colors.
I’m known for my love of big, girthy dildos, but here’s a picture of some tiny treasures in my collection.
There can never be enough glitter. Sparkly dildos are beautiful!
Tentacles and assorted squiggly bits became a bit of an obsession for me this year. To paraphrase Ariel: “You want tentacle toys? I’ve got twenty…”
I love sex toy shopping on Etsy, here a just a few of my fabulous finds! Clockwise from the left: Laughing Dragon from Kudu Voodoo, Malus from Blue Ritual, Kelpie and Alabaster from Xenocat Artifacts, Rana from Qimera Forge, Hotspot from Carnal Creations, Tyv from Strange Bedfellas, Matic from Akifu Toys, Skoll from Phoenix Flame Forge and Succulent from Starspawn Toys.
For a look back at my collection over the years, here are links to my first, second and third (part 1 and part 2) blogiversary posts.
The Blogiversary Weigh-In
It seems that I started a new tradition last year. This time, the weighing operation got a little more sophisticated. I found a heavy duty postal scale on Amazon and paired it with a large plastic bin from Walmart. So instead of loading a tote bag and lifting it up with the handheld luggage scale, I could pile (or toss) in dildos by the dozen. The scale has a capacity of 200 kg, so in theory I could have weighed my entire collection at once…if I could find a way to fit it all on the 11 inch square surface. But even having to weigh in batches, the new setup made for a much easier and more enjoyable experience.
Despite re-homing some misfit toys this year, the weight of my silicone dildo collection increased by 25.2% to 347 pounds, 5 ounces. My trip to Tulip Toy Gallery definitely played a part in that, as did the growing number of awesome toymakers on Etsy. Flint remains the heaviest dildo at 4 pounds, 15 ounces despite a challenge from the enormous Exotic Erotics Corn.
In a few days, I’ll be off the Playground conference in Toronto, where I’ll celebrate my blogiversary among friends and spend some time living in 100% blogger mode. There may also be a post on the experience of having my tubes tied, and why I’m thrilled to have made that decision. I have a feeling I’ll return with lots to share. I’m also working on my follow up to the squishing off post, in which I introduce my clit to a number of silicone items that were never intended to be sex toys (for an example, see this Twitter thread). And I have a GIANT PILE of toys to review, including all this goodness from my friends at Shevibe!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll stick around to see what Year 5 brings. And if you want to interact, you can generally find me being quirky and goofy over on Twitter…
- Please don’t be That Person who asks “what do you do with all those sex toys?” I think we all know what they’re for. ↩
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